_WithoutMakingMeTry }} [F]

[_KAT]

3rd Day, Midday

// Cate Brooklyn

The bell rang, and immediately the class was on its feet, the rustle of books and stationary drowning out the Magister's voice for a few moments. As his shouting became audible, students either ignored it totally and continued packing away or reluctantly flopped back into their seats. Not that you could really flop into a plastic chair, but they pretty much managed to put as much resignation as possible into it. The magister was sighing and lecturing and when they finally became bored enough and gave the word, the classroom was empty in seconds.

Five minutes. That's all they had wait. Of course, the crisp, clear days they'd been having recently were too much of a temptation and most people were out enjoying the surprising amount of sunshine. Including Cate's closest friends. She chattered her way out of the classroom to find a corridor ringing only with the sound of the footsteps of her own class. Still, everyone elses' grins were contagious and she hitched a grin on her own face as she headed towards her locker with no more than a small sigh. After dumping her books, she retreived her coat and scarf. Despite the sun, there was still a cold breeze and the school was always little protection. Her coat, a bright blue woolen article, was her favourite possession currently. Although, all her clothes were flashy in an undeniably cheerful way.

Striding through the main doors, Cate emerged into the fresh air and her smile, which had faded, appeared again. Outside air. It was so much nicer to be around than the stuffy interior of classrooms. She entered the courtyard, hoping to find her friends, but eventually decided they must already have abandoned ship and gone on down to the fields. Cate debated for a short moment whether to follow them, but the thought of going out into the probably-even-more-cold air was not one she was inclined towards. So saying, she instead descended the stone steps and made for one of the benches, long scarf swinging to and fro. She sat down, pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes and, not for the first time, wishing it was shorter.

Waiting was not something Cate was very good at. And, since she wasn't waiting for anyone in particular, she could not even amuse herself by guessing how many peple would exit the building before her target. Instead, she practiced a few commands she had been learning in Elemental Studies. Of course, in the last few months she'd made very little profgress whatsoever, but it was, at least, something to occupy brainspace. Rules were not something Cate was usually bound by, although most of the time ignorance was her honest excuse. And anyway, trouble was an adventure.

[cat]

The items in the two boxes shuffled around unsteadily inside them as Sears made his way, slowly – at least he was trying to – down the steps. His arms stretched forward at the base of the box, his hand gripped the other end tightly, so its contents wouldn’t fall out. This was his ticket out of P.E. today and he wasn’t going to let that chance just slip by. Sports, or any kind of physical activity for that matter, were his least favourite activities. It might sound strange at first for he’s guy who supposedly had the right kind of physique for that sort of thing. Even so, he wasn’t a wimp. It’s just that the two, wine-box sized boxes he was carrying were a bit too heavy. “What’s in these?” he muttered.

The cold bit through his coat easily. As usual, he forgot that it wasn’t tropical winds he was dealing with and hastily threw on his ash black gentleman’s coat and scarf and rushed off to meet the janitor after breakfast. It was a coat but it didn’t function like one. The flaws were not obvious for the problem was underneath the material. The inner lining was torn off so badly it’s as if he wasn’t wearing a coat at all. When it had happen, Sears couldn’t really recall. Yet he still put it on, probably forgotten that his mom sent him a new one three days ago. His mind was elsewhere then; filled with the prospects of getting away with skipping his hated subject under the knowledge of the one who teaches it. He let that bit of news play in his mind as a pitiful attempt to forget the cold stomped on.

As his feet touch the last step, he felt as if the burden of the boxes lifted. The items, he’d assumed to something valuable by the way the janitor talked about them, were still intact so he prudently made his way around the courtyard. A gust of wind blew. He sucked in a long, forced breath and let it out quickly and shook his head briskly. This was one of the times he was grateful that he’d cut a ‘crew cut’ two weeks before. It had grown a bit now but he didn’t mind. Long hair and windy days just didn’t mix. Out of amusement, he sometimes watched the students who had long hair fix their hair after getting it ‘ruined’ by the wind; another nutty way for Spud to pass his time.

Whom he assumed to be the one who was supposed to receive the items was a blonde female who was wearing blue. He looked around and saw her. She was muttering something when he went towards her. His leather shoes clacked on the stone as he did so. The girl was rather cute but looked as if she wanted to be anywhere but here. “Excuse me,” he hoped he didn’t interrupt her… meditation, “Mr Simmons sent me to give these to you.” He smiled as he held up the boxes in front of her. Underneath, his arms were almost numb.

[_KAT]

[Sorry for the wait]

It wasn't quite working. No matter how many times she muttered the strange words they never seemed to sound right. The Magister had said to work well they needed a certain tone, and although it was amusing to see how many different ways she could say things she wasn't often successful. In an earlier lesson she had once been able to perform aer-reformo, one of the commands they had been learning. But it seemed she had peaked and after that she was back to general struggling along again. Despite this, Cate was not unhappy being unacademic. Who needed maths anyway? It wasn't fun in any way. Or amybe it was, when you could do it. Her parents had been urging her to get a tutor all year; maybe she should try following their advice.

Cate hardly noticed the boy exiting the building; she was concentrating on her commands again. However, when he stopped beside her she quickly snapped out of her momentary trance to look him up and down. He was wearing a worn coast in a dark colour. Cate hoped he wasn't as drab as his coat, and immediately banished that thought. Judging people was a major fault of hers, but probably the only one she was always aware of. The boy had blonde hair, the colour only a little warmer than her own. His dress sense was casual and not showy from what she could see. Which was not too much, considering the two boxes he was carrying. At his words, she frowned.

"Wrong number, I think" she replied cheerily. At the same time, she was trying to remember which subject 'Simmons taught. She was pretty hopeless at remembering her teachers' names; after all, she didn't have to use them often. Sometimes it was easier just to remember faces. "You can put them down for a minute though, If you want," Cate added as she realised they were probably heavy. And that she didn't know him. She loved knowing people; friends were like her life, her escape from having to listen to her parents all the time. And gender was hardly an issue; having all female friends was monotonous; there could only be so much time spent talking about hair. In that way, Cate was a bit of a tomboy. She didn't wear much make-up and although she cared about her appearance it wasn't top on her list.

"What's your name, anyway?" she enquired, leaning back on the bench again. Luckily this time she didn't have to start muttering to herself again and look like a total weirdo. Probably too late. Luckily she didn't care too much. Cate suddenly wished she had shades; as soon as he moved she'd no longer have anything to prevent the sun from shining into her eyes. It did bring out the subtle highlights in her hair though. Every cloud has a silver lining, she thought with an inward ironic smile.

[cat]

Wrong number? Thinking that the line was probably a joke, Sears chuckled even though he didn’t really get it. Being polite was a rarity for him these days. Still, he didn’t feel that awful today since the day just began. It was rather discouraging to know that she wasn’t the person who was supposed to retrieve the boxes. Then again, that meant he could actually skip his whole P.E. lesson. His heart felt lighter at the thought. He was able to feel his arms again as he placed the boxes beside the girl. The numbness was still there though. “I’ve been wanting to put them down the moment I carried them,” he said as he stretched; bending backwards. He groaned as he plopped on the bench beside the boxes.

“Spud,” he answered instinctively as he turned to her. It didn’t occur to him that he’d introduced himself using his nickname. She was a tiny little thing. And thin - though she might be thinner under all those clothes. A female with blonde hair wearing blue… Details, Mr. Simmons… Mr. Simmons was what the janitor was called formally. Students normally addressed him using his first name, which he insisted them to. Though most would just ignore him as they past by the old fellow. Sears on the other hand met up with him regularly during lunch breaks. It was a custom since he came to Ludus. He was, after all, Sears’s first friend here.

He adjusted his scarf, wrapping it tightly onto his neck though it didn’t make any difference to the cold. “And you? What’s your name?” he asked, thinking that since he’d given his and that there was bound to be a conversation later, he should get her name. A conversation felt like the answer to the problem. He could keep himself busy by talking to this girl and she looked like she had a lot to say. Sears smiled despite the cold and asked, “What are you doing out here anyway?”

He looked around the courtyard and spotted a few students but they were just passing by to enter the building. A sane thing to do, considering that it was getting chillier. Thankfully the sun was bright and high, the heat touched his face gently. Right then, this place felt so calm and just… right. Too bad there wasn’t much green. A sturdy old oak stood in the center of the courtyard and some bushes were planted around the area but that was about it. He sighed, and wondered whether he should talk to Leo about it.

[_KAT]

Cate grimaced as he put down the boxes. She had no doubt that she would hardly have been able to carry one of them a few metres. Of course, if it had been her job, she would have done it. Her determination was hardly to be matched by anyone. Probably grew from her ambition to some day be totally independant. It didn't help if you were a little weak blonde girl. The stereotypes these days always annoyed Cate. She had blonde hair, and yes, sometimes she was totally clueless, but she had to make sure people were aware she wasn't just another blonde girl in the crowd. The kid sat down next to her and and she shifted slightly to give him more room.

"Spud?" She exclaimed before she could stop herself. Then she laughed. "Where did you get a name like that?" She hoped he didn't think she was being rude. But Spud? It was intriguing. Everyone seemed to have odd names these days; it reminded her of the guy she'd spoken to on messenger the previous night. "I'm Cate," she replied in answer to his next question, a smile brightening her face again in return for his. His was warm, and it impossible for it not to be passed onto her. She laughed at his next question, hugging herself. "I have no idea. You would have thought I'd have more sense than to sit outside," she said, then added, "But I prefer the outdoors. I think it's a Aeris thing," matter-of-factly.

Having said this, Cate had never considered herself an Aeris. Labelling people by their house was strange in her opinion, considering she'd always wanted to be an Ignis instead. Or a Terra. Earthquakes were pretty cool in spite of her hate for geography. "What house're you in?" she enquired for sake of conversation. It wasn't a question she would usually ask; too conventional. But these days Cate didn't know what she wanted to be, and it was easiest just to be normal. Then, once people were her friends, she could unleash her general hyperness on them all. Cate was a weird mix, to be sure. In some ways more mature than most adults and in some ways really childish.

[cat]

Rubbing his hands together for warmth was the only thing he could do then. He looked around to see if the owner of the boxes were about. The bench, though made of wood, was cold and the last thing he wanted to do was to lean back on the metal support. “Oh?” He laughed, finally noticing what he’d said. “Spud’s what everyone calls me around here. My real name is Sears. Nice to meet ya Cate.” He wanted to tell her why but held it back at the last minute. An embarrassing story can never be told to a girl he’d just met. Who knows what she’ll do with it later. No. Sears was too shy about it. He cleared his throat.

So she was an Aeris. “Cool,” he said, “So can you stop this wind from blowing?” His teeth chattered as a sudden gush of wind blew. Instantly, he stuffed his hands into the side pockets of the coat. Dead leaves looked like robins jumping across the uneven slabs of rock on the ground. The bushes rustled, its thin twigs swayed furiously to one side, as if they might snap off. But the tall, old oak stood firm, its weakness showing only on the smaller branches. Then, the wind died as quickly as it’d begun. Actually, what Sears wanted to say was, “It’s okay. My friends think I’m pretty insensible too.” But that might’ve sounded wrong somehow. Instead, what came out was, “I like the outdoors too. If it were warmer or when I get a new coat.” He kept his hands in the pockets since rubbing them didn’t do any good anyway.

“Lamnia,” he answered, looking directly into her eyes. Lovely, he thought to himself. It was a habit of his to observe everything and he’d always have a soft spot for beautiful things. He didn’t know where he’d gotten this habit from. Some people thought he was strange, others thought he was a pervert. But he didn’t care. They don’t understand, he always told himself. People never did, except his mom, of course. He turned away and finally leaned back onto the support. The aching on his back was unbearable. “What’s the best cure for back aches?” he asked suddenly as he winced and shifted in his seat.

[_KAT]

"Nice to meet you too," she replied, considering his answer. Sears. it was almost as interesting as Spud. Reminded her of the department store. Of course, this Sears didn't seems much like a department store. They were too general, they did everything not-too-well. Kinda like Cate herself. This thought made her grin; it was the perfect analogy for her life. Can you stop this wind from blowing? She supposed that was logical. "If only," she said with a sigh, then giggled, "I can't even do the first thing in Elemental Studies." It was a good thing it didn't bother her, it seemed to occupy her mind for so many hours of the day.

Cate nodded at his next statement. "Wise words," she replied with a mock-solemn tone. She wrapped her arms aorund herself again, inwardly grateful for her own bright protection. The coat was no good in the rain but it did a good job of keeping the cold out. And the yellow scarf she always paired it with helped. Blue and yellow were by far her favourite colours, but only in the right shade.

"Oh, cool," she replied. Lamnia. Cate didn't actually know that many people from Lamnia; she always thought of it as the unsociable house. Just as people thought of Ignis as mean, she thought of Lamnia as cold. But Spud; he was cute, and talkative. He was looking right at her. Eye contact was something Cate was well-used to from all her practice at staring contests, but it was now that she noticed the bright blue colour of his eyes, and the thought in them, and glanced away, flicking her hair over her shoulder. As he leaned back and winced, she laughed. "Massage?" she said, the mirth still in her voice, "But don't expect me to do that for you."

Cate was pleased at how well they were getting on. He seemed pretty sociable. She spent a few moments trying to gauge his age. Unfortunately, this had never been one of her strong points. And so, she decided to ask instead. "Okay Spud," she said with a wry smile, "What year are you?" And then added, "Sorry about the interrogation. When I get started I never stop," with a shrug.

[cat]

Sears raised his brows slightly as she giggled. It wasn’t the loud and annoying kind of girly sound that he usually made him cringe and want to glue the person’s mouth shut. “Why?” he asked. It was a simple question, if hardly a question at all. Elemental Studies was the only subject he didn’t really need to put effort in to do well. It was probably because he was a First Degree and it’s in his blood, as his mom explained to him long ago. What fascinated him wasn’t that his mom was comparing him with his dad. It was that his mom was smiling all the way as she talked. Very few times does Sears catch a glimpse of his mom smiling so easily. He always longed for the smile that actually showed her happiness.

“Are you making fun of me?” he joked as he watched Cate hug herself. He imagined the warmth of that soft blue coat and wooly yellow scarf. It was an interesting colour combination, one that’s seldom seen but not rare. He then remembered the brown package he’d received a week before and groaned. “I forgot that mom sent me a new coat last week,” he said to himself, “I was so hyped about skipping P.E. that I just threw this rag on to see Leo. Damn it!” He sighed. What’s done is done. The only thing he could do now was wait on the cold bench in this horrid weather with his numbed hands in his ‘coat’.

Massage, eh? A good idea – if one doesn’t mind being harassed by another person’s fingers. The thought of it was just vile to Sears. Or maybe he’s just ticklish. He said nothing but replied with an amused grunt. Still, he was getting more relaxed with this conversation. It did make him forget about his worries. Her next question caught him off guard. “Third,” he answered after a short pause. He smiled, “No worries. We’ll make it even then.” He grinned. She’d called him Spud.

“But I’m guessing you’re about…” he narrowed his eyes into an exaggerated thinking look before continuing, “fifteen to sixteen.” Really, he was just guessing. And usually, his guesses were real close. It was luck perhaps. Sears looked around once more. “Who are you waiting for exactly?” There was no one around the area since everyone went inside the building. Just then, he saw a dark green figure at the top of the stairs. “Spud!” the man shouted, “Ya still down there?” Leo always asked the obvious.

[_KAT]

Cate glanced at him, then leaned back and gazed up at the clear skies. "Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe I wasn't supposed to be an elementalist." She shrugged, frowning slightly. but didn't let the creeping sorrow keep her down for long. Instead, she focussed on a small bird that wheeling and diving around in the blue expanse. Cate had never thought herself poetic, but it was at times like these she thought that maybe she could write. The only thing she ever really used her laptop for was messenger. There were hundreds of possiblities. But the moment soon faded as she remembered her surroundings. If only she could be profound all the time, she thought with an inward ironic smile.

"Probably more important to concentrate on the academic stuff; the stuff that matters," she then said casually, then gave him a sheepish grin, "I'm kinda failing all that, too." Then, at his comment, her eyes widened. "Oh, no, I wasn't," she said, "I was just cold. I might get back inside in a minute anyway." He groaned, and she look at him in concern, only to hear his next words and smile in relief. She quickly straightened her face. "Too bad," she said, "Still, you might remember from now on." Cate was not often optimistic; she was well-known for being synical and dramatic, but on sunny days she was more light-hearted, more sociable, and it was for this reason more than anything she was enjoying his company.

So he was a third year. That meant he was... seventeen. Or something like that. That wasn't too old. It made her feel more at home. Cate tended to prefer hanging out with older people anyway; despite sometimes acting immature she always felt older than her fifteen years. Her first group of friends had been two years her senior in school, and here was not much different. Cate hardly noticed how snobbish she was being, looking down on people the same age as her. Cate just smiled in return for his answer. She was feeling surprisingly at peace with the conversation, not feeling the need to fill it with much on her part.

She raised an eyebrow at his guess, then eyed him critically. "You're good," she said, "Fifteen. I feel kinda small here. Means I have to make up for it in personality." She laughed, and pushed her hair back again. "Oh.. well, no one really. I mean, my friends have probably gone down to the fields 'cause I got out late, so perhaps I'll catch them on the way in," she replied to his question with a half smile. If she was honest, she would rather have been here making new friends than always hanging round with the same people. As the guy called down the steps Cate looked at him with a grimace. "You gotta go?" she asked, the disappointment plain in her voice although this was not her intention.

[cat]

“If you think like that, why are you still here?” Sears remarked, “You can just go home now, you know.” Obviously, Cate was just making herself miserable. He knew that heavy feeling in your shoulders - being called useless or a loser when he was growing up and all. And at one point he really thought that he was. But he guessed that Cate was just doing it all to herself; and that was worst. “I’m sorry,” he added when he realized he sounded a bit harsh, “I don’t know how to explain this. I mean… I was like that too, once. It may sound cheesy – I laughed when I first heard it - but ‘If you think you think you can, you can. If you don’t… then there’s nothing more I can say.’ That was what Leo told me when I almost tore down his shed. Long story…” He paused solemnly turning to the sky as well. “I’m glad I believed him.”

Even on a cold day like this, the sky was still that blue. That cheered Sears up a bit. The vastness of it reminded him that there were endless possibilities in this world. That was what sparked his interest in Italy and made him forget about the horrid things happening at home. “When the time comes, you’ll get it,” he said, still staring upward. He smiled, thinking of the day Leo told him this at the very same spot under the same clear blue sky. He laughed at the next thing she said, “You’re not the only one,” he sighed before he continued, “Still… I try.” Of course he did. He had to if he ever wanted to graduate. It’s not like he was going to use what he learnt for his future – except the things in Elemental Studies. He didn’t need them to survive in Italy because he already knew what he wanted to do. And it didn’t involve calculus.

“I tie a string round my finger,” he said, “But that doesn’t work… most of the time.” He rolled his eyes, wondering who thought about that idea in the first place. Resting his head on the top of the support, he turned his head to face Cate. He grinned. “Nah… Size only matters in sumo wrestling, I think. So yeah, no worries.” Sears shot up as he heard Leo calling. Disappointed that the conversation might end sooner than he wanted to, he reluctantly got up from the seat and brushed his bottom. He rushed up the stairs to meet the old janitor, before of course, excusing himself. Being gentlemanly was something he was taught ever so strictly by his grandmother. Those long sessions of passing tea in the right manner and saying thank you in a high-class way just stuck.

After a bit of talking and what looked like exasperation, Leo made his way into the building again. Sears ran down the stairs so clumsily that he looked as if he were about to trip and fall flat on his face. “That woman – postponed to next week – damn it!” he tried to explain with the deep breaths in between. When he did catch his breath, he turned to Cate. “I should go now. Can’t skip my next class.” Before he went off with the boxes, he gave her his email address. He smiled and said, “Talk to ya soon.”

[_KAT]

Cate laughed. "I guess I could," she replied, "But that would be a crime! Leaving would mean I'd never be able to know whether I could succeed... if that makes any sense at all." Despite not being academically minded, Cate wasn't bad with words, another reason she thought she ought to take up writing. But if she used too many long ones at once she usually managed to confused even herself, which was never a good idea when in good company. Cate's parents had always been quite shy, meaning she had been brought up without the expectation of becoming some big socialite. But that had sort of been what it had developed into; the two introverts had had the extrovert. In some ways, she and her parents just didn't see eye to eye.

Cate listened to his mini speech, trying to make head or tale of it. If she was correct, it seemed he was trying to comfort her, something that she thought very sweet. After all, he was two years older than her and he still wanted to sympathize with her. She couldn't help but find his words rather corny, but definitely didn't want to offend him and for this reason she nodded, keeping her expression thoughtful. However, his words, when the time comes, you'll get it, sher found intriguing. Did he believe in fate then? Cate had never been a believer in such things, but perhaps there was some truth in what he said.

She couldn't help but laugh when he mentioned tying a string around his finger. It seemed like a comical idea. Cate had always been pretty good at remembering trivial things; they stuck in her head better than formulas or poems. And, at his mention of sumo wrestling, she laughed again lightly. His words were a comfort, although Cate had never been self conscious about her height, or her age for that matter. She was good at fitting in anywhere, or so she liked to believe. And where there was a will, there was a way. For everything except schoolwork, that was.

Abruptly, he stood up to go talk to the guy at the top of the steps. Cate felt the rush of cool air as he passed, and her eyes followed him. She couldn't catch their conversation, but assumed he would be leaving until he returned to her. She grimaced sympathetically as he related his tale. She was thankful for his email when he gave it; messenger was the best way to keep in touch when you weren't in the same year as people. Thanking him, she said a cheerful, "See ya," before standing herself and, more slowly, making her way in the direction of the field, and her friends.